


Memento Mori

by DecemberWildfire



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Flyleaf (Band)
Genre: F/M, Flyleaf - Freeform, Silver Millennium Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7503835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberWildfire/pseuds/DecemberWildfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Senshi and Shitennou fall in love during the war between the Moon Kingdom and the rebellious side of Earth during the Silver Millennium; a war that lasts for years. Can these ill-fated lovers stand their ground? Or will they be tempted away from their kingdom and onto the enemy's side? (Based on the album by Flyleaf)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beautiful Bride

**Author's Note:**

> Extremely faith-based story, as usual, so don't be shocked. As always, viewer discretion is advised if you're really not into that.
> 
> It's based on Flyleaf's album Memento Mori (my favorite album ever). Inspiration and many quotes are drawn from the "Letters from the Commander" (which can be found on flyleafonline). [Disclaimer] I don't claim those quotes as my own writing (or quotes from the songs), nor do I claim any ownership over Sailor Moon, Flyleaf or anything else referenced.
> 
> Queen Serenity is symbolized as Christ, and Queen Beryl as Satan. Moon Kingdom = Passerby Army. Dark Kingdom = Dread Army.
> 
> This story is told from the POVs of the Senshi, as well as a made up soldier, and the POV changes throughout.
> 
> Slightly AU.

_To my favorite ones, sons and daughters of the Moon Kingdom. I hope that these stories from your journal entries from your past life and the war with the Dark Kingdom make it back to you intact. When the time is right, your past will be revealed to you. Grace and peace till we meet again._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Queen Serenity_

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**The Soldier**

I woke up to the sight of the beautiful white drapes hanging over my room's window. Queen Serenity's palace was the most gorgeous, exquisite place in the universe. I always love staying here during our military training because, despite the hard work and discipline, there's an inexplicable peace here that you can't get anywhere else.

The Moon Kingdom prepares us for battle, but even more importantly, Queen Serenity teaches us how to love, and to bring Truth to people. The Moon Kingdom's mission is to bring peace, faith, hope, freedom and above all, love to the entire world. Our mantra is "Memento Mori". These words remind us that our mission is urgent, and that when death comes to anyone, at 18 or 80, a mortal life proves to be short. We are reminded by Memento Mori to never waste a moment without advancing the mission. The fate of our children and grandchildren depends on how we use the time we are given. We never initiate war here; we're trained to be missional and to protect ourselves and our Kingdom. However, throughout history we have battled with dark forces on Earth to defend our allies when they were attacked. Additionally, we often face spiritual war within ourselves and even with individuals we encounter. This is why this is our most important mission that we could ever take on: to always love and never give into the darkness of hate and lies.

We spent most of today strength training with our army commanders. We always practice with our swords and our shields, knowing that our job is to offer strength and not to abuse it. We would use this strength to defend our Kingdom if we were ever attacked, and the four Sailor Senshi, who are some of our main commanders, would use their celestial powers as our main source of defense. They train regularly to combine their powers into a counter attack to deflect any attacks from enemies. On days like these, our captains would always remind us that though our strength is growing, our true strength comes from the Lord. We usually end our days studying Scripture and having one-on-one mentoring sessions with our captains and leaders.

The Earth Kingdom is also part of the Moon Kingdom. They train their army in a likewise manner and we are all one body, one bride, one united people who share the same mission and who are always there to defend the other. It was rumored for years that contact between the moon and Earth was forbidden, until the Queen was approached and that rumor proved a lie.

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_"Your Majesty," the four Senshi bowed with reverence. "We need to speak with you."_

_"I've been longing for you to come and talk to me. I've missed you," the Queen lovingly and joyfully went up to meet them. "How are you? What do you need to tell me?"_

_"Princess Serenity keeps sneaking away to Earth and has been seeing someone down there…" Venus got down on her knees. "We tried so hard to talk to her and stop this behavior, but she won't listen. She's in love. Your Highness, please forgive us for failing, and for not telling you sooner. We know that contact with Earth is forbidden, and we desperately ask your forgiveness."_

_The Queen humbly knelt down and hugged her, and gave a reassuring look to the others. "Of course I forgive you, my dear ones. You know you always have my love. And I know what Serenity has been doing, and I also know Prince Endymion. You should know that contact with Earth has never been forbidden; it was a false rumor that was spread on the moon long ago and carried over to Earth. The Truth is that division among people is not how things are meant to be. We are to love all of our neighbors at all costs."_

_The Senshi stared at her, stunned. "Your Majesty, with all due respect," Mars stepped forward. "Why didn't you tell us this before?"_

_"I was not keeping it from you. If you're searching for the Truth, you can always come ask Me. But I never see any of you anymore. You never talk to me or spend time with me, as if you are avoiding me. How am I to interact with you if you are so distant?"_

_"Our deepest apologies, but we're always trying to train and carry out the mission, and life gets so busy…"_

_"I know that. And I love you no matter what. But just know that I'm here. I'm always here, and you can_ always _come spend time with me."_

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**Venus**

I had just finished up my one-on-one meeting with my captain, and ended up having to go to Earth to look for Serenity. She was taking much longer than usual to return, and was supposed to be spending the evening with the Queen.

I stepped into the teleportation chamber and took a dizzy ride over to Prince Endymion's palace. Traveling there was always good practice for me, as I was able to lovingly interact with the inhabitants and everyone at the palace, whether they were friends, strangers, or even if they didn't care for me all that much. It was a way to advance our mission outside of home, which was our comfort zone.

I walked through Endymion's massive gardens in search of the couple, when I came to the training grounds where troops were training just like we were. Prince Endymion was their main captain, though he had been a bit distracted ever since Serenity came to visit nearly every day.

In the distance I saw Endymion's four generals, Kunzite, Nephrite, Jadeite and Zoisite, giving out orders. It was definitely a different dynamic and style from how we do things on the moon, but all for the same mission. They are our allies.

I walked past the training ground towards the other side of the palace. Kunzite, their leader, caught sight of me and basically walked away from the session to come after me.

"Princess Venus," he bowed respectfully. "I don't assume you're here just to stroll through the gardens. Are you looking for Serenity?"

"That I am," I bowed back. "Would you happen to have an idea of where to look?"

"I believe I do. I'll take you."

"But your training session?"

"The other three have it covered."

I followed Kunzite through a labyrinth of trees and shrubbery in what felt more like a forest than a garden, and soon found Serenity cheerfully giggling on a tree swing next to a pond, with Endymion gently pushing her on it.

"Princess!" I called out. "The sun is setting and it's getting late. You need to be home with Queen Serenity tonight."

"Oh, is it that time already?" she shyly blushed. "My mistake!"

Endymion took her hand as she got off the swing and came my way.

I turned to Kunzite. "Thank you for your help. Best of luck with the training out there."

"It was no problem at all. As always, don't hesitate to ask if you ever need help finding your princess."

He headed back to the training ground, cape blowing majestically in the wind. He's an interesting person. He has such a big heart and I know it, but often times he just seems… stern and solemn. He can be really hard to read. I can't deny that he's probably the most handsome man I've ever known, and for a while there, back in the day, I thought I was falling in love with him, but… I don't know. Romance isn't really an urgent thing for me right now. Still… sometimes I do miss the times when we would always hang out at the palace and spend time together while searching for Serenity; back when we believed her relationship with Endymion was forbidden.

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**The Soldier**

I had returned to my home on the other side of the moon, as our intensive monthly strength training was over. A few weeks later, we were all called back to the palace for one of our regular gatherings. However, at this particular one, my heart broke as I looked over our army. There was so much fighting and arguing.

"Your philosophies are sounding crazier by the day. Don't try to preach to me what you can't live out!" one woman shouted at another.

"You're so controlling and overbearing, and I'm sick of it! I get that I made a mistake in training, but you don't have to be a jerk about it!" another woman yelled to her commander, with others on her side.

"Why are we even training for war when there are other things we could be doing with our time?"

"I still don't think we should be teaming up with the Earth soldiers like this! How do we know the Senshi weren't lying to us about the forbidden contact being a myth?"

On and on it went. These men and women were ready to live and die for love, yet somehow they had gone from fighting the enemy of hate, to bickering and fighting each other. I thought through what I could say to encourage them again. With all the strength of my voice and my heart, I shouted: "Unified diversity! Functioning as one body, every part encouraged by the other, no one independent of another! Irreplaceable, indispensable, you're incredible, _incredible_..."


	2. Again

**The Soldier**

Word had broken out on the moon that the people of Earth had been divided. Endymion's side of the planet was still loyal and committed to advancing the mission, but the other half of the planet decided they no longer agreed with the mission and believed he was trying to control their lives and force them into it. Even after desperately trying to convince them that he has no intention of forcing anyone to do anything, that part of the mission was to bring _freedom_ to people, and that in doing so they all have the freedom to choose their own paths, they still saw him as a threat and plotted attack against his kingdom.

The rumor was that this whole thing started because somebody on that side of the planet – a negative influence full of hate and evil – had spread lies and convinced them to turn against the prince. She was now their head captain and was training them for battle. This had happened multiple times in the past, but not to the extent of creating a full-on war. I had a good idea of who this ringleader was, though it didn't get confirmed until later and at the time I didn't understand how this escalation happened so quickly. Endymion had come to the moon and pleaded with the Queen to allow her army to help his in defending his palace. Our Queen agreed, as fighting against evil, hate, lies, and everything opposite of what we stand for, is a main objective of our mission, after all.

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**Mercury**

My fellow Guardians and I have always been commanders for our Moon Kingdom army, ranking just below our head captains, and of course our Queen. However, out of the four of us, I have always been the least involved in the physical training of our troops, and focused more on teaching and discipling our people. I spend most of my time studying Scripture and philosophy.

Urgency is calling me now, with this war on Earth, and I know I need to step up and get more involved in physical training. The problem is, I'm not really sure where to start, as none of us really anticipated this war suddenly breaking out. I'm to blame for being so ill-prepared for this possibility.

I didn't want to be a burden on the other Senshi, as they are counting on me as their equal, and they already have a multitude of people to work with, so I decided to seek help elsewhere.

I teleported to Earth and searched for Prince Endymion around the palace. Perhaps he would have a commander who might be more available than ours were. Every corner outside seemed chaotic with all of the military training, so I wandered around inside in hopes of finding _anyone_ who might know where the prince was. I came across the palace library, which I had never seen before, and it was phenomenal. I had to stop in for a moment. I had never seen so many books in one place, with such a large, throne-like chair just below one of the higher shelves, which would make for the perfect afternoon. To spend a day in that chair, reading and learning about the world would be absolutely wonderful.

I walked up to one of the bookcases and pulled out a random one, which ended up being _The Sacred Romance_ , when I suddenly jumped and dropped it at the feeling on a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't be snooping in here, I was just looking for…"

"Don't sweat it. It's OK."

I turned around and found General Zoisite standing there smiling at me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Can I help you find a book? Or did you come here to see _me_?" he winked.

"No, that's okay," I giggled awkwardly, ignoring the second question. "How are you, Zoisite? It's been quite a while."

"That it has. It's been pretty crazy around here, as you can probably imagine, but we're really glad to have help from you all on the moon."

"We're always honored to help our brothers and sisters. We all belong to the same Kingdom, after all."

Zoisite bent down to pick up the book I dropped. Studying the cover, he smiled back at me. "Good choice. If you ever get a chance to read it, you should get back to me. I'd love to discuss it."

"Me too," I started blushing. I didn't know he enjoyed reading. It wasn't too often that I interacted with men like this. "But it will all depend on how much spare time I'll have."

"Oh come on," he playfully nudged me. "You know you want to. I'm an outstanding library companion."

_Boy, what a narcissist,_ I thought to myself.

"But in all seriousness, it's good to see you, Mercury. You should come by more often. And hey, I'd love to continue hanging out with you in here, but I really need to get back to training. So until next time…" he politely kissed my hand and turned towards the door.

After a moment I snapped out of my blush-induced paralysis and called out, "Zoisite, wait! I… need your help."

"What for?"

"Well I… I need to learn how to fight in combat and how to train my soldiers. See, I have always spent my life learning the books and the theology behind our mission, but I haven't really practiced much, at least in the area of warfare. Can… can you help me?"

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**The Soldier**

Months passed. Months full of intensive training, and anticipating the enemy's arrival to Endymion's side of the world. We were ready to defend them and to do everything in our power to spread love to our enemies and to be a light in their darkness.

In due time, the attack began. Several troops from the moon had gone to battle before mine did. On the day we got there, I was overwhelmed to see the amount of lives that had already been taken on the battlefield. As I watched our enemies, some of them were ruthless in their attacks and they didn't have an ounce of mercy in them. But in the others… I could see the brokenness and corruption in them and wanted to mourn for them, for they were still so loved by us and by the Queen. I knew that even the merciless ones were hurting inside beneath the surface.

When they attacked me, I did not draw my sword. I protected myself and tried to remind them that they are loved and tried to show mercy, feeling like their fates were in my hands alone even though I knew that was a lie. But none of it wasn't fazing them and only seemed to fuel their hatred. My heart broke for them and the evil that had been done to them by their new dictator.

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The end of the day came and the enemy's troops retreated. Before I headed back to the moon with the others, I scanned the area. As I looked over the battlefield, I was reminded of what we were fighting for. I thought of all of my loved ones. When I started thinking about my daughter back home, I was overwhelmed. She can be so much like me...the way her heart breaks with every injustice. She prays like everything depends on God, but then lives like it all depends on her. Even though she's strong, there are times when she tries to carry all the weight of the world on her own and she ends up crushed, brought to her knees. As she cries out for relief, she will finally let go, surrendering all of the burden by believing that everything has a purpose and will work out for good... It's only here that she finds the air to breathe again. I wish she would come to this place quicker sometimes. So often she feels guilty for not being able to hold it all herself, but if she only knew how wonderful she is. I've written several times to remind her of these things, but I haven't gotten a response in a month.


	3. Chasm

**Venus**

"Excuse me? Kunzite?"

The silver-haired man paused his sword sharpening session and came to the doorway where I was standing.

"I'm sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting," I continued, feeling a little nervous for some odd reason. Maybe because it had been a while since I felt this miserable and weighed down.

"Not at all. Are you looking for your princess?"

"Actually no, not this time. I just wanted to see how you were all doing down here? And if there's anything else we can do to help. I just…"

I paused, suddenly getting teary-eyed. "I just don't want to lose any more people, you know? I've never fought in a real war like this before, and so many people I love have either died or turned to the Dark Kingdom…"

I looked back up into his eyes; his eyes that are usually so stern and almost cold, but at this moment looked so loving and kind. Without thinking, I suddenly ran up and hugged him, and tears came falling down.

"I'm sorry! I just don't know what to do. I just wanted to talk to someone; someone who's in the exact same position as me."

He held her there calmly, lost in a train of thought for a moment.

"Don't be sorry," he finally spoke. "You are the princess of Venus; the guardian of love. It makes sense that you feel for your people this way, and it's a good thing. It shows that you have a beautiful heart."

I backed up and looked into those loving eyes again. _Why is he looking at me like that?_

"All we can do is advance the mission," he continued. "Some will come back, and others won't, but we must do everything in our power."

I wiped my face and started calming down. "I know. It's just so hard to show these people love when they want nothing to do with it, and to defend ourselves at the same time."

"That's what makes it warfare." We held each other's eyes for a moment when he suddenly took my hand. "Come with me."

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Kunzite led me to a peacefully flowing river out in the garden, away from all the mayhem.

"This is where I always come when feeling overwhelmed. It comes as a surprise to some people, but I don't have everything together, and my efforts to train my army, serve my prince and carry out our mission aren't always successful. I always figured we would go to war like this at some point, as we live in an imperfect world. And now that we have, and seeing how our troops are struggling, sometimes I can't help but feel as if I have failed them."

I looked up from the river and over at him, a little bit shocked. This was the most he'd ever opened up to me and I could tell by his face that he was being real, even for one who doesn't show emotions very often.

"Whenever I come out here and watch the river," he went on, "it gives me peace and reminds me that our struggles now are temporary, and that the message we are trying to spread is eternal. The water we drink here from the river, in all of its abundance, fills us only for the moment, but it is written that we have the choice to drink the water from the God of our mission Himself, and it fills us eternally."

"The water for our souls."

"Precisely."

I moved over to face him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You haven't failed anybody, and you shouldn't feel like you have. None of us are perfect and none of us can train a perfect army. We're all equipped in our own ways. You can do this. You have what it takes."

"I appreciate that Venus, but you do not have to feel as if you need to comfort me. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone."

I looked deeply into his eyes and spoke firmly, "Kunzite, listen to me. _You have what it takes._ "

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My fellow Guardians and I stood in a line in front of the entrance to Endymion's territory. The enemies were swinging their swords at us, shooting at us and even trying to bomb us, though their explosives weren't very powerful. Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and I combined our powers like we've been practicing for years, and created an invisible forcefield wall, protecting us and everything behind us. In using this power, we were also able to use our transformation scepters to deflect the shots and attacks thrown at us, sending them back to the enemies at twice the power. We deeply regretted having to do that, but it was the only thing we could do. We needed to keep our people safe and alive, and we couldn't protect everyone across the battle ground with just the forcefield alone. We kept calling out to the attackers, proclaiming the Truth and giving them so many chances to repent and come back, but they refused and kept attacking.

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Towards the end of the day, Jupiter and I were fighting together while the other two Senshi retreated back to the moon. While the enemy was losing the battle today, they cried out to us, "Memento Mori, we are human too! We are in pain and we are dying!"

I answered them, hoping they would listen, "Break off your pact with the Dark Kingdom! That is what is killing you! Walk away and take your life back! I know it's all you've ever known, and walking away will leave a wound, but it will heal! When it does, do not enter into your pact with the vultures again! You don't have to be slaves to death! We've come to bring the truth of freedom! You were meant to be free!"

But they wouldn't listen and kept crying out, "Please give me something! I'm so thirsty."

Jupiter pleaded with them as well. "If you die here this way, you will have wasted your life on death and you will have never lived! Once you die here, the chasm will be fixed and you can never undo it. Turn from death and drink this life-giving water we are offering you!"

The battle continued to rage, some turning and joining the Moon Kingdom, others dying.


	4. Missing

**Jupiter**

"What's all this?"

I jumped in shock at the sudden voice behind me, dropping the hot tray of rolls onto the ground.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Ms. Jupiter…"

I turned to find General Nephrite there, quickly running over to help me pick them up.

"I didn't know that Princess Serenity's prettiest Senshi was so into cooking," he winked at me and gazed at the huge counters full of assorted baked goods.

I ignored his attempt at being charming. "It's just… what I do when I'm stressed."

"I know what you mean," he sighed heavily. "I'm really sorry that we've dragged you all into this."

"Don't be sorry," I said, throwing out the dirty rolls. "It's what we're here for. What kind of ambassadors would we be for our Queen and our mission if we refused to help our friends in need, even if it was scary for us?"

"Well, you would be human," he smiled kindly at me. "But you make an excellent point. I guess you could say that no one ever promised us easy lives."

I didn't realize the awkward amount of time I was just gazing into his eyes before saying anything. It looked like there was a whole galaxy full of stars in his eyes.

"So," I shook myself out of that trance. "What brings you here anyway?"

"There haven't been any battles today, so I accompanied my prince here. Sometimes it's just nice to get away from all of that negative energy on Earth, you know?"

"Yeah. I do."

He walked over to the counter and picked up a lemon bar. "How long have you been working on all this?"

"All day. I just needed to focus my mind on something else to calm myself down."

He took a bite, eyes widening drastically. I was almost concerned.

"Are you… okay?"

"Okay? I've NEVER been better! This is the most phenomenal thing I've ever tasted!"

"Well, I'm glad you like it," I laughed in amusement at his dramatic reaction.

He started trying all the other things scattered around the counters, equally enthused with every bite. I'd never seen anyone so amazed by my food before. Not even the princess.

"Ms. Jupiter, you have a gift. I hope you realize how talented you are."

"Oh, it's no big deal. I've just had lots of practice."

"You don't have to be so modest, my dear. Can I be honest? …If the circumstances were different and we didn't have warfare to attend to, I would have loved to spend all day here, enjoying your creations and more importantly, your company."

I felt a mild blush start to appear my cheeks, which quickly turned into more of a burning sensation beyond control. "Yeah. I would've liked that too."

The charming look in his starry eyes turned to sorrow. "Well, I'd best be getting back to training. I'll see you later, dear Jupiter."

"See you…"

I watched him walk out the door before finding myself running after him and yelling, "WAIT!"

He turned his head. "Is something wrong?"

"Maybe we _could_ do something. Something small anyway. I mean, if you're not too busy training tomorrow… would you want to come back here and have a picnic under the gazebo in the garden? We all have to eat, right?"

He moved towards me again, grinning. "Right. I would love that."

"Cool. I'll make us something good."

He kissed my cheek, leaving me frozen. "Until tomorrow then."

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**The Soldier**

I had written a letter to my daughter long ago, telling her about the time I met the queen on Earth. She was not in any official position of royal power like Endymion, but on her side of the world, she was known for acting as a dictator and running her city. Her name was Beryl. Despite her controlling behavior, people idolized her because of how gorgeous she was and her gift of speaking beautifully.

When I was young, at the age of fifteen, I visited Earth and attended one of her "royal" events. I had felt something missing in me, and before I really came to know Queen Serenity, I thought this famous earthly queen could help fulfill me. Beryl was going to give a speech to the public that day and address their concerns (which usually meant shooting them down but making the people believe it was for the best). A massive audience was attracted. We all parted to the sides to make way for her, as she was slowly riding up in a star-shaped carriage, smiling and waving to them as she made her way to the podium. There were carvings in the wood at the bottom of her carriage, shaped like waves in the sea. I joined everyone else in lifting my hands to her and cheering.

The star carriage stopped briefly and for a moment, she looked at me. I managed to speak up, saying, "Good queen… it is an honor. We have lifted our hands up to you, and I just respectfully ask… will you hear us out today and lift us up too?"

The look in her eyes said it all. They screamed "Never!" and without speaking a word, she rode away and up to her pedestal.

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After fighting in this war for a few months, and thanks to Sailor Mercury's research and technology, we discovered that this Queen Beryl was the main commander leading the Dark Kingdom, like I presumed, and that she was the one who started it to begin with by influencing people with her lies and wicked ways. She had allowed jealousy and evil to corrupt her even more than before and let a demon take her over, and as a result, even her outer beauty was destroyed. But she was still a master of manipulation.

I knew she was no good from that day at her rally all those years ago. I should have done something to fight against her power before it got out of hand. All we can do now is fight against her and her demons. And I refuse to give guilt and shame a stronghold over me, for I know that I am forgiven.

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Today I finally heard back from my daughter. Her letter was so sad. She said she no longer believed in love and was thinking of joining the Dark Kingdom. She wrote, "Down here, love wasn't meant to be for me. All is vanity underneath the sun."

Feeling defeated, I prayed and wept bitterly for what felt like hours. I cried out, "Why am I here fighting to bring love to the world, when my own daughter doesn't believe in it anymore?"

Afterwards, I was comforted to remember that everyone who seeks the Truth with all their heart will find it. Love is true. My daughter will know love. All IS vanity underneath the sun. Everything and everyone on earth will leave us empty and unfulfilled, because there is only one love. She was already finding truth in her searching.

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I was staying at Queen Serenity's palace again. It was 3:45 a.m. and I couldn't sleep. I came down to the kitchen and found various desserts on the counters, but my appetite was gone.

I heard some footsteps and turned my head to find Sailor Mars, looking restless as well.

"Good evening, Princess Mars," I bowed respectfully. "What brings you here so late?"

"My insomnia is acting up again. What's your excuse?"

"Tonight I just can't seem to get my daughter's words out of my head... 'All is vanity underneath the sun...'"


	5. This Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI this chapter is pretty intense in certain parts, with some darker/more mature content (nothing too graphic or anything though; just giving a heads up). I'll say again that viewer discretion is advised.

**Mars**

Although I have devoted my life to my Queen and our mission here in the Moon Kingdom, I will admit that faithfully carrying it out has always been more challenging for me. While every person has their own struggles and issues, the main thing that I have always struggled with is anger. It's just how I was raised as a young girl. My parents back at my home palace on Mars were extremely heated, short-tempered people who were constantly screaming at each other and throwing things during every argument. It happened almost daily. One time they started fighting each other with their fire powers and almost burned the place down. These things are what always came to mind when I thought about the idea of marriage. For the longest time I wanted to stay away from it. But when I came to the Moon Kingdom, Queen Serenity healed me a great deal and showed me what real love was. Of course, it's been a process and nothing happened overnight or anything like that. But then I met… him. The only man who ever made me even _want_ to consider the idea of someday getting married.

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_"Excuse me," I said impatiently, not having a ton of time on my hands._

_"State your name and purpose, please."_

_"Jadeite, you know who I am. Now please get out of my way. I don't have all day."_

_"It's the prince's rule, not mine. I can't let you through until you tell me why you're here."_

_"I need to get my princess for her mentor meeting in 20 minutes. She was supposed to be back ages ago. Now can you please let me in? I'm really not in the mood for this today."_

_Jadeite stepped aside, allowing her to pass through into the palace. He watched her powerwalk into the distance before blurting out, "Why not?"_

_"I beg your pardon?" I spun around._

_"Why aren't you in the mood? I mean, I can't a recall a time you ever_ were _in the mood to be slowed down, but you seem especially frustrated today. Did something happen?"_

_"Why do you care?"_

_"I'm merely observing your mood. If there's something wrong, I should know and offer assistance in whatever way I can. Is it not part of our mission to mourn with those who mourn, and rejoice with those who rejoice?"_

_"True. But I hardly thought you were the type to do that sort of thing."_

_"The type?" he walked over to me. "Does one really have to be a certain_ type _to be a faithful servant to the Queen?"_

_"I guess not," I sighed. "It's just been one of those days."_

_"What kind of days?"_

_"Sometimes I get ugly flashbacks of my past, before I was saved and transformed by the Queen; back when I living with my less-than-civil family back home. It's not nearly as bad as it used to be, but some days are worse than others and sometimes it's hard to be upbeat and peachy on days like this."_

_He silently pondered for a second. "Let's sit down." He led me to a fancy couch in the front lounge near us. "This is important, so I want you to tell me all about it and how I can help."_

_"One thing the Queen has taught me that stands out…" I took a deep breath and made sure I kept my eyes on the ground, "is that love honors freedom. My parents tried to control my life and tried to force me to be the person they thought I should be, but that only made me rebel and did some things that I most definitely regret. But when I came to the Moon Kingdom, the Queen gave me the choice to choose. She's loved me like no one ever has. It's pure. So, why is it that I'm still such an angry, or otherwise emotionally unstable person? I don't have the right."_

_He looked at me with sincere care and concern even though I refused to look back at him._

_"Mars, you are worth much more than you give yourself credit for. You said it yourself: love honors freedom. You have the choice to think and act however you want, but the important thing is coming back to the Queen and knowing she's merciful. The transformation gives us all the genuine desire to stay true to the mission and not drift away. You're human. Of course you're going to struggle with things. You know what I struggle with? Anger and envy. I wish I didn't get annoyed with people so easily. I wish I was as powerful as Kunzite in strength, and that I had the spiritual gifts that my prince does. But the Queen has given us all different gifts and talents. That's the whole point of being diverse."_

_I finally turned my head to him. "I never knew you could be so deep."_

_"You'll learn that I can be a very different person when you're not practicing your kickboxing on me," he smirked. "Remember the first time we met?"_

_I laughed. "Yeah, how about we_ don't _talk about that…"_

_"No really, I don't mind. It's kind of hilarious thinking about it. How you came here frantically searching for your princess but found me instead, and, thinking I was hiding her or something, you performed a beautiful kick to the head with perfect form, knocking me out until the prince came to my rescue."_

_I tried to hold in the laughter but was only slightly succeeding. "And tried to pick fights with you the next three times I saw you."_

_"Yeah," he leaned back and smiled. "Good times."_

_"Well, I was new to the Moon Kingdom and had a much harder time trusting people back then," I said. "And I'm sorry."_

_"It's all good. I'll tell you something though: boldness is an excellent trait to have, when used for good through our mission. It'll help you reach people in ways that are different from, say, your ally Mercury, for example, who also has her own gifts and ways of using them. It sounds to me like all of this that you're dealing with is a result of wounds that still need healing," he looked at me seriously again. "Can I pray with you?"_

_I looked back up at him, gazing into his deep, jade eyes. "Sure."_

_He placed his hand on me and began to pray, and though I had prayed for myself a thousand times, there was something… different and powerful about his masculine strength defending and interceding for me like that. I felt some of the burden lifted._

_"Thanks," I said as he ended the prayer. "Can I ask you something?"_

_"Absolutely."_

_"Are you this nice to everyone?"_

_He was silent for a brief moment. "I definitely try to always love my neighbors all the time, regardless of who they are," he paused and looked back at me. "But something about being able to help the coolest and most beautiful girl I know just makes me more passionate about it. I can't help it."_

_A blush broke out on my face for the first time ever._

_He changed the subject. "So, you need to find Serenity, right?"_

_"Oh, right!" I quickly shot up._

_"She's probably in the dining hall with Endymion. I'll take you."_

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**Venus**

Today's battle was brutal. I had some scrapes and bruises, but still felt strong enough to keep going. I was in much better shape than many others. At one point I found a small group of people on the enemy's side, laying on the ground and groaning in pain.

My heart was pulled towards them. I stopped trying to fight against the large number and ran over to them, kneeling down to be on their level.

"I… I'm sorry," I began. "Believe me, we don't want to hurt you, but we have to protect our people. We want you to know love. This is why we want you to come back to us and to the Queen. She loves you and will forgive you and can make you new again."

They all looked at me with intense anger in their eyes, as one of them spoke, "You're all the same. All of you Moon Kingdom hypocrites. You walk around acting all humble and perfect, and like you're better than everyone else. You claim to serve some 'loving' Queen who probably doesn't even exist, and yet you're killing and wounding our people every day. And now you have the _audacity_ to come over here and tell us to repent and join your side? SCREW YOU!"

"But you guys are the ones attacking _us._ We're just trying to survive and we want to have peace again."

"Peace?! You think that if there's no war, there will be peace? Do you have _any idea_ what kind of hell we've been through?" she motioned back to her fellow wounded allies there on the ground with her. "Jazz over there was raped by her stepfather as a kid, and has been abused by nearly every man she's met. John beside her, he was beaten daily by his parents and kicked out of his home at age 12, struggling to just survive on the streets day after day. Charlotte on the left had a brother who was murdered a couple years ago, and he was her only family. Me? I have cancer and was only supposed to live another six months, but it looks like my time's ending today. This world is terrible, and you wonder why we don't believe in some Queen who's supposed to be loving and good!"

Tears spilled down my face as I wept. I didn't know these people, but I loved them. "I'm sorry. I hate that these things happened to you. It's not how the Queen intended for us to live. She loves you so much. And I do too."

"Some of your people snuck into one of our bases the other night, spat their hateful speeches at our people and then killed a handful of them. All in the name of Queen Serenity. You call that _loving_?"

"Those people aren't true followers then. They may have said it was done in the name of our Queen and mission, but that was a lie. Our mission is about love. We love you."

"You're full of it," John yelled from behind.

"We love you," I repeated. "It's not too late to come back. She can heal you. You'll be made perfect in her sight."

Their breathing slowed down and they sank further to the ground. The last words uttered by the first woman were, "Not on your life." She breathed her last.

I fell to the ground sobbing. I love our enemies so much.

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The two sides retreated at the end of the day like usual, and the Moon Kingdom soldiers went back to our main Earth base outside Endymion's kingdom. My heart was still broken for the enemies who died that day without ever knowing the Queen, but I was trying not to let it consume me.

A few of the soldiers next to me were talking about a party that was going to take place later that night, when one of them turned to me.

"Hey Venus, do you want to come tonight? I'm sure you could use some time to let loose."

"Oh, that's very nice of you to invite me, but I don't think tonight's a good time for me. I'm not exactly in a celebratory mood right now."

"Oh come on, it'll be fun. Get a bunch of drinks in and wash your worries away."

"I don't think that really aligns with Scripture or our mission, do you?"

"I think we should do it," another soldier walked up and cut in. "Self-care is important, you know. We can't be effective in anything we do if we're weighed down by stress."

"Wouldn't this be more like self- _comfort_?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, come on now. Don't be so lame. We _insist_ that you come. You're a fun person when you're not being so serious."

I sighed and agreed to it. I guess it wouldn't hurt to do it just this once, right?

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Lights were flashing and loud music was playing. There was lots of crazy, dirty dancing and nearly everyone was intoxicated. It had been a very long time since I went to a party like this; since before I joined the Moon Kingdom. I recognized most people there as people who only claimed to believe in the mission but didn't actually live by it. They were only fighting in this war to try and save their own lives and homes, but they were not kind or loving people. Often times I wondered why these people weren't fighting on the Dark Kingdom's side since they agreed with their culture and standards more than ours, and never listened to any of us when confronted. Nevertheless we loved them and had to respect their freedom.

I felt so weighed down and burned out from everything. I kept looking around and watching everyone having fun and appearing to enjoy themselves, and I wanted that too. I just wanted to feel better even for a moment. People kept bringing drinks around, and with time my level of caring about staying faithful to the mission started to decrease as I wallowed in my pain. Before I knew it, I was chugging down one shot after another. After I got into that feel-good stage, I joined in the dancing with random men there. In that state of drunkenness, it would have been easy to go home with one of them, but I still held onto the amount of strength and reason left in me and resisted.

I felt terrible by the end. Guilt consumed me. I knew a lot of that was the influence of the demons from the Dark Kingdom, as guilt and shame are not from the Queen (though conviction is a different story). But I knew deep down that I should not be turning to alcohol and other things that are poisonous to my soul in times of stress. I should be taking my burdens to the Queen and letting her heal me, like she always calls us to do.

The thing is, that originally planned "one time" thing ended up affecting me more than I anticipated. I sort of became addicted to the feelings I got at those wild parties, so I repeated that night's actions and more, again and again and again. Self-control faded, as I grew numb to it all, more and more by the day.

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After a little over a month of my darker lifestyle, I returned to the moon for more training. One night, I had a hard time falling asleep. But when I did, my dreams gave me a wakeup call.

_I was at one of the parties on Earth with the other soldiers, and even people from the enemy's side. No one was fighting each other; they were all just partying and trying to live life to the fullest, as they always claim it to be. Numb to faith, love and all things good, we kept carrying on with our business._

_But after a while, I took a closer look at the people around me. Something was… off._

_Then I realized: we were all dead. I was not looking at the bodies of these people but their souls. We were spiritually dead._

_"Hey!" I called out to one of the people. "Where are we? What's going on?"_

_"We're raging. What do you think? Here, have a drink," he threw a bottle at me._

_"But, what about the war?"_

_"What war?"_

_"The one we've been fighting in!"_

_"Oh, that all stopped when we realized we were on their side."_

_"What?! But what about the mission?"_

_"Eh, that's just a waste of time. Nobody here really cares about that anymore."_

_"But that's crazy! I still care about it!"_

_"Really? Huh. Weird… it's just that you don't act like it."_

_I suddenly felt a pit in the depth of my soul, and looked around and saw some others feeling it too. I fell to the ground sobbing. I felt so empty._

_Suddenly, the roof opened and we looked up to find a beautiful man in the sky. He was beyond earthly beauty; something beyond words like I'd never seen or imagined before. I was frozen and lost for words._

_Someone near me cried out, "O, God of the universe, save us!"_

_Then we all cried out in unison, "I don't know who I am anymore! Not once in life have I been real, but I've never felt this close before! I've been walking dead, watching you, long enough to know I can't go on!"_

I woke up, almost hyperventilating. I knew this was more than a dream. _Is the Queen trying to tell me something?_

It's true that I had been feeling empty since drifting away from her and the mission. But that emptiness I felt in that dream was like no other.

I laid there for several hours, but it would still be a while before sunrise. Eventually I dozed off again.

_I was back on Earth, and fire was falling from the sky. A man out there had warned me of it, but I spit in his eye and told him he was naïve._

_I saw people on both sides of the battle. I saw those four people I talked to on the battlefield a while back before they fell to their deaths; the people I felt so strongly for. They were all being consumed by the fire. My heart broke again as I fell to the ground sobbing. I saw the other Senshi and other faithful soldiers and servants of the Moon Kingdom there too, but they were not harmed by the fire and were fighting against it. I stood up and prepared to fight too, but I kept seeing others fall and I grieved. I love them all._

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Kunzite came to the moon the next day to spend time with the Queen. I was about to follow suit, as I was in desperate need of quality time with her, when he came and found me as I was headed out the door.

"Oh, hi…" I was shocked in the moment by his presence.

"Venus… are you all right? You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I'm, well… I don't know. Look, I'm really sorry I haven't visited you or talked to you or anything in so long. I promise it's nothing personal, I've just…" I took a breath and fixed my eyes on the ground. "It's been a really spiritually dark time for me lately. But that all ends _now_."

Kunzite walked into the room and turned back around to face me. "Venus, what's going on?"

I lifted my head back up and moved my eyes over into his.

"I had two nightmares last night. In the first, I dreamed that I was in a huge crowd of people. We were all dead, but we pretended that we still lived. We did everything we could to experience the highest heights that life here has to offer, but we all started to feel a vacuum growing within our souls. All happiness was only as brief as a snowflake hitting a warm tongue. It began to drive us insane. I realized I was fighting for the Dark Kingdom. And then, all of a sudden a man appeared in the sky and we were all watching him. He was more alive than any of us had ever been and it made us all want to live. From the depth of every heart we began screaming in unison, 'I don't know who I am anymore! Not once in life have I been real, but I've never felt this close before! I've been walking dead, watching you, long enough to know I can't go on!' And I woke up devastated at having felt the emptiness of our enemies. I love them all…"

He was silent so I kept going.

"Later that night I dreamed fire fell from the sky. I remembered prophecies I'd heard about hell, ones I'd scoffed at. I never wanted to believe in it, but somewhere in the back of my heart, I worried the prophecies might be true. Here in my dream, I saw the reality of it. This is the fate of our world without love, and so many people I love were lost in the midst of this fire. Again I woke up weeping at the potential fate of our enemies…"

I broke down in tears and ran up to hug him, crying into his shoulder.

"I love them all so much."

He put his arms around me and stroked me hair.

"Like I told you before," he began, "you have a beautiful heart. It's unfortunate, but we all have seasons of falling and feeling distant."

I caught my breath and gathered myself, releasing my grip and backing up to face him again.

"The important thing is that you've held onto your faith through it all, and you're choosing to come back." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "You told me long ago that I have what it takes, and that affected my soul in a way that I was unaware of even needing. I have been more intentional with spending time with the Queen since then, and my faith is stronger."

"So I helped lead you there?"

"You did."

He then smiled at me in a way that was sweeter than I'd ever seen from him. I blinked my eyes and he leaned down and kissed me.

I took in the moment, slightly concerned that he might hear how loudly my heart was pounding.

"No one ever said we have to do this mission alone," he said after a moment. "I would like to do this with you, if you'll give me the honor."

I smiled bigger than I had in ages. "Yes! By all means…"

He took my hand. "Of course, neither of us can do anything without the Queen's help. Let's go to her."


	6. The Kind

**The Soldier**

The Dark Kingdom is very rich. Queen Beryl grew up in a very wealthy household in an upper-class town. The Dark Kingdom originated in that area. To them, everything has a price, even their own souls. Their people fall madly in love with money and rob their minds to serve her. When Beryl began reaching people in other areas, she won many of them over by promising them wealth.

I watched one of our finest soldiers fall into her trap, and he and his wife joined the Dark Kingdom. His family suffered severe emotional damage because of his betrayal.

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**Mercury**

"Remember, when you throw punches, you don't want to just clench your fist. You always want to make sure your index finger is lower than the others and that your thumb covers it. Maintain proper form."

Zoisite gently took my hand and fixed my fist, before returning to the thick wooden board he had in place.

"Also remember to thrust your hips in the direction of your strike. That's what will give you power."

I took a few more practice shots and then moved over to the board.

"Attack now!" he yelled.

I took a deep breath and focused my energy. I plunged my fist into it with all my strength, and the board shattered.

Zoisite's eyes widened in shock. "I think you're ready. Just keep that proper form and do what you just did, and you'll be fine. Hopefully it won't have to come down to hand-to-hand combat on the battlefield, though. You just have to be prepared for the worst. You might run out of celestial energy, and the enemies might knock shields and weapons out of your hands, so that's when these skills will help you. But I have confidence in you regardless of what happens."

"There's no way I would have ever gotten this far without your teaching, Zoisite. Thank you."

"Anything for you, my pretty lady." He walked away from the shattered board and came over to kiss me.

"I'm so happy that I ran into you of all people in the library that day," I managed through my blush.

"I bet you are. I can't blame you; I make a pretty dang good mentor after all, huh?" he winked.

"Oh hush, you." I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"How does it feel to be a fighter?"

"It feels strange. I've never been one to get physical before and only ever knew my Mercury powers. But that's what I love about life. There's always room to learn new things."

"And I love that about _you_ ," he kissed my cheek and took my hand as we started walking.

"I must repay you sometime for all your help."

"Your company has been more than enough."

"Would you like to come to the moon with me for a little while? I think we could both use a good break."

"I would be delighted to."

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There was a lot of commotion in the lobby. I found my ally Mars and asked what was going on.

"Everyone's really upset right now. We just lost Christopher and Katherine to the Dark Kingdom."

"Oh my goodness. That's awful! Did they capture them?"

"No. They joined them out of their own will."

"Why would they do that?" Zoisite looked puzzled. "I've heard of Christopher. Wasn't he one of the moon's best warriors?"

"He was," Jupiter walked up next to Mars. "But he and his wife were struggling financially, and instead of talking to the Queen about it and trusting in her provision, or even just asking any of us for help, they gave into the Dark Kingdom's offer of wealth. They decided that would be a better life."

"You look mad, Jupiter." I saw the fire in her eyes.

"I am mad! How could they do that? His parents and brother are devastated from losing him!"

"They must've been so blind to believe the enemy's lies!" Mars raged.

"All right, everyone just calm down," I stepped in. "Remember that love honors freedom. They made their choice out of their own free will, and right now all we can do is pray for them and do what we can to win them back with love. Anger will not solve anything."

"She's right," Zoisite put his arm around me. "Mercury's being sensible. So why don't we try and calm this crowd down and get back to focusing on our duties?"

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**The Soldier**

I heard the story of what happened to Christopher during his time in the Dark Kingdom. When he and his wife arrived to Beryl's kingdom, they were showered with expensive gifts and treated like royalty, and it felt like they had so much freedom since they were no longer obligated to follow the standards of the Moon Kingdom. They cursed the Moon Kingdom and were happy with the decision they made.

However, a week later there was a bloody battle and Christopher was put in charge of one of the troops, being the great fighter that he was. They were up against an army led by Sailor Mercury, whom he underestimated due to what he previously knew about her lack of warfare training. But she proved to be a powerful opponent somehow, as if she had been training day and night for months. He ignored her plea to leave the Dark Kingdom and come back, and just tried desperately to defeat her.

When they lost that day's battle, he had to report back to Beryl.

She was furious. "I thought you were one of the strongest fighters on the moon! We invited you into our home, gave you everything you wanted and more, and THIS is how you repay us?! Unacceptable! I'll show you the consequences of failing me!"

She ordered her guards to throw him into the dungeon, where he was beaten and starved for two weeks straight. His wife mourned for him, and realized the true evils of the Dark Kingdom as she saw this same thing happening to other people who failed.

The Dark Kingdom mutilated Christopher and he lost an arm. After ten months, he and Katherine came back to the Moon Kingdom with such humility, begging to be servants... to simply clean our toilets and be among us. We nursed Christopher's wounds, gave him a clean uniform and made him a captain. He is now in charge of a thousand soldiers. Today he is a remarkably loyal brother and has kept many people from falling to the allure of money and ending up toiling in the ranks of the Dark Kingdom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just saying, I don't know a ton of technical stuff (or much of anything, really) about fighting, combat, etc (in regards to the part about Mercury's training). I basically just took what little I remember from childhood martial arts classes :P


	7. In the Dark

**Jupiter**

"Not many people know this, but I grew up in the Dark Kingdom and was a slave to death when I was younger."

Nephrite's eyes widened in shock as he nearly slammed his coffee mug down on the table. "What? Really? How did that happen?"

"I was born on Jupiter, but spent most of my childhood on Earth. I was never really needed at the Jupiter kingdom since my parents and older sister were there, and… I don't know, I guess I was just drawn to the lifestyle on Earth more than my own planet. I was manipulated into joining Dark Kingdom at a young age and that's where I learned martial arts and physical combat."

"But didn't the Dark Kingdom just recently form, before the start of this war?"

"Technically no. Beryl proclaimed herself as a ruler long before that, and has deceiving people into joining her and taking part in her wicked ways for as long as I remember. Several Moon Kingdom missionaries would travel to all the planets and share love and Truth with people long before this war, and the ones who went to Earth really pissed Beryl off because they called her out on her lies and mistreatment of people. She always hated Queen Serenity and our mission because everything we stand for goes against everything she did and lived for, and she sought to destroy anything standing in her way. It was a slow process in forming her full army; it didn't just happen overnight. Her demons helped escalate the process right before this war started, but… it was always evil over there. And even before this huge world war broke out, we had several smaller battles on that side of the world whenever the missionaries were there because they would get attacked by Beryl's armies. Endymion and his men never got involved because Beryl managed to prevent the word from getting out about it and these battles ended relatively quickly. That's probably why you didn't know. The rest of us in the Dark Kingdom knew of the Moon Kingdom's mission, but we were raised to believe it was evil."

"Wow. I can't believe that I had no idea about these battles. But hey, the Truth can be offensive to those who don't want to face it. What was it like, being with them?"

"That kingdom lives in the dark, so that's where I lived when I was with them. I loved the darkness because I could hide all my flaws there. I never realized that darkness is a deceptive enemy. Everyone there is afraid of silence, so they fill every moment with empty, idle words. They all lie, so you can never truly know the genuine identity of a Dark Kingdom solider."

"How did you escape all that and end up here?"

"One night, I was spying on a Moon Kingdom base during a battle, when I was captured and taken to the moon and brought before Queen Serenity. At the foot of her throne, where I laid trembling on the ground, was the most brilliant light I'd ever seen. There was no darkness to hide in, and for the first time I saw all that I really was. The silence in this place was immense because in the light of the Queen, there is nothing to say... only things to realize. I had been an enemy of this powerful Queen all my life and if she had sentenced me to death right there, it would have been right... it would have been justice. Amidst these heavy thoughts, I was startled to feel her hand under my chin as she leaned down and lifted my face to her own. She spoke with a love I'd never known before, saying, 'We only want voluntary allegiance in the Moon Kingdom. If you stay here, you will be changed and it will feel like the old you has died. Or, you may remain in the darkness as a slave. Either way, I love you, my dear girl. You are free to choose.'"

"So you stayed."

"Well, not right away. But as I left the moon to go back to my Dark Kingdom camp, I questioned everything I'd ever known. I realized in the face of the Queen's love that all my love was selfish and not really love at all. It was true that the only way for me to be changed would be for the Queen to kill who I had become and raise me up to live again, making me new."

Nephrite's starry eyes were glittering. I had never seen him so intrigued by a story.

"Our Queen is good," he said.

"I couldn't agree more. I didn't deserve such love, but she gave it to me anyway."

"So, how long exactly have you been here in the Moon Kingdom?"

"A little less than three years. I was the last of the Senshi to arrive here."

"Wow. That's not long. I didn't realize…"

"Like I said, most people don't," I smiled at him. "Unless someone asks me about it, I usually only tell the full story to those closest to me. Guess you're one of them now."

"Well I must say, for being here that short of a time, you've definitely grown and matured a LOT into the faithful servant that you are today."

"What about you? What's your story?"

"Eh, it's nothing special. Ever since I was born I was raised into this faith. I don't have an exciting story or anything."

"Hey, you shouldn't feel bad about that. I think having faith your whole life is awesome! You don't need to have something dramatic happen to you in order to have a powerful story. Surely there came a time in your life when you were able to think for yourself and still decided to follow your faith, right?"

"Well, I guess there was a time when I started questioning it all and thought that it logically didn't make sense. I looked at science and all the philosophies of the world and wondered if I was just believing a fairy tale. But then I remembered that the whole point of faith is not to have proof, and to not understand everything all the time. That's what drives us to have reverence. And looking around at the people in my life and seeing how God was working in their lives and the miracles that would happen, and looking up at the stars and the massive universe… I knew that there was _no way_ this was all fiction."

"See?" I stretched my arm across the table and placed my hand on his. " _That's_ a powerful story."

He smiled. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, the Senshi might seem out of character at times, but in this story they're intended to be older and more mature than in the anime/manga.


	8. Set Apart This Dream

**Mars**

"It's getting quiet."

Jadeite turned his head and smirked at me. "Yes, dear. That's what happens after midnight in the depths of the prince's gardens."

"I know. And I like it. It's as if it's the only peaceful place on Earth right now."

"True story. I'm grateful that we at least have one quiet place left." He put an arm around me, which was something I was still getting used to, but I was learning to like it. He turned his head back towards the bonfire.

"The fire's dying."

"I got it." I stood up and pressed my fingers together, sending a fireball down to the wood and reviving the flames.

"You're a handy person to have around," he joked. "And I love you for that."

I sighed and kept staring at the fire. "You know I'm not gonna say it back until I absolutely know that I mean it."

"I know," he kissed my cheek. "And no rush. I'll love you no matter how long it takes."

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**Venus**

I lightly tapped on the window.

The curtains were pulled away after a moment and I saw my silver-haired lover.

"Venus…?"

"Hi!" I smiled.

"Um… not that I'm not glad to see you, but what are you doing here at 2 in the morning?"

"I was at my base and couldn't sleep so I took a walk. And I saw your light was on so I wanted to see if you were awake…"

"You know, we do have a very nice front door. Perhaps you'd like to use it sometime? Instead of climbing up a tree and knocking on my window?"

"Well what fun would that be?" I winked. "I just didn't want to wake the others."

He smiled and shook his head. "Well, since you're here," he stretched out a hand to me, "why don't you come in? I'd hate for you to catch a cold out there."

I took his hand and climbed through the window. I had been in his room a few times in the past when we used to hang out as friends, but it seemed to get bigger each time.

I took a seat on the couch. "So. What have you been up to?"

"The usual," he walked over and kissed my cheek before taking a seat next to me. "But whenever there's downtime, even if it's the middle of the night, I like to study theology like I used to before the war."

"I miss being able to do that whenever I wanted…" I sighed and leaned back. "I commend you for sacrificing sleep for it."

"Taking care of yourself is important too," he put an arm around me. "I only sacrifice sleep when I can truly afford it."

"What are you reading tonight?"

" _The Screwtape Letters._ "

"Maybe we could read it together sometime?"

"Of course. Do you want to start now?"

"Maybe sometime soon, when it's not the middle of the night. I really should get to bed soon," I turned to face him. "I just wanted to see you. I've missed you the last few days."

"I've missed you. As I've always said, I'm always here if you need me and you're always welcome."

"I know. I just wish I could get away more. I don't ever want you to think that I don't want to see you or anything."

"We are in the exact same position within our militaries. Of course I understand your workload. And I am honored that you would be willing to spend any ounce of spare time that you have with me."

He kissed my cheek again.

"I wouldn't want to waste my heart on anyone else," I kissed him back.

"Your heart is very important to me. And I want to always treasure it."

I wrapped my arms around him and leaned in. I never felt so precious to a man before.

"I'm always praying for our purity."

"As am I," he gently stroked my hair as I became drowsy.

My eyes closed and I started lightly drifting off for a little bit.

I quickly sat back up once I caught myself actually dozing off. "I should get back to my base before I pass out in here. And I should let you get some rest too."

"Would you like to use the door or the tree on your way out?" he smirked.

"Oh, you're funny," I rolled my eyes and smiled as I went to hug him one more time. "Thanks for having me, even though it was brief. And so late, too. I hope we can have that reading session soon."

"Any time you'd like."

"Well… good night." I walked out and faced him through the doorway.

"Good night, Venus. And good luck tomorrow."

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**The Soldier**

Hearing stories of ransomed peoples' former days in the Dark Kingdom gives me such urgency to do everything I can to keep my daughter from joining them. I think often about when she was a baby. Every night I would tell her that she was beautiful and precious. I wanted to make sure she knew that she was worth more than anything in the world. I would tell her about the Queen of the Moon Kingdom and that she ruled everything, including her. I used to dream of her growing up into a beautiful, wise woman who would change the world. I used to pray that over her, pleading for her to be spared from the things that every other man and woman in our family had to go through.

However, with all the potential that our free will gives us to freely love, we also must face the risk that our free will gives us the same potential to freely hate. My worst fears were realized when we found that she had been abused by a man who used his free will to try and destroy her. Her desire to join the Dark Kingdom was simply the result of her having been hurt in the most unjust way possible. So my prayer for her as a baby was the one I prayed for her tonight, to set apart this dream.

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I went downstairs and found Mars sitting on a bench outside with Jadeite. After a couple minutes Jadeite got up and left to return to Earth. She remained there, looking somber.

I approached the bench and she was startled by my sudden presence.

"Oh, it's you again."

"Is everything all right, Ms. Mars?"

She said nothing. I sat down on the bench beside her and joined in her silence until she finally spoke up.

"Do you ever feel like something is so amazing and so… right? And then as time goes on, you get this feeling that it might not be, and that you should walk away from it?"

"Are you talking about Jadeite?"

"Look, I'm not here to tell you my life story. Can you please just answer the question?"

"Well… in a way, yes. For the last twenty years, ever since my daughter was born, I question myself and my decisions every day. When I look back, often times I wish I did certain things differently. Even now, each day I wonder what I should do to help her know how valuable she is and how much she is loved. And it's a battle between trying to do things myself versus leaving it all alone and honoring her decisions. But when it comes down to it, I'm only a man. I'm bound to make mistakes. But the Queen loves me no less."

"I just have this strong feeling that things are going to go really, really wrong. I don't know what, how or when, but I think it's more than paranoia."

"You should talk to the Queen about it."

"I know. I've been really bad about spending quality time with her lately. This war has just been killing me."

"All the more reason to go to her," I stopped gazing out at the lawns and turned to face her. "I'm going to tell you something that I would always tell my daughter: Memento Mori. We will be in paradise someday, so set apart this dream. You're so much more than you know. Sleep in this haven; the Queen holds your favor, with love much greater than you dream."


	9. Swept Away

**Jupiter**

I had just finished my devotional for the morning and came downstairs. I was filled with joy to find Amber, the girl I was recently able to lead away from the Dark Kingdom and into the Queen's love, down there in one of the study lounges with her mentor, so curiously seeking the Lord and learning all about the mission.

She's 16 – the same age I was when I joined the Moon Kingdom. During the fight on the battlefield, she was relentlessly attacking me with her sword while I was shielding myself with lightning. Eventually her weapon broke, so she was left to throwing punches. I noticed massive bruises all over her arms and back. I released my forcefield, as she was running out of energy.

_"What happened to you? Are those bruises from battle?"_

_"What's it to you?" she kept throwing weak punches, breathing heavily._

_"You don't have to keep fighting. I promise I won't hurt you. I just want to know what happened."_

_"I got punished."_

_"What for?"_

_"Our commander wanted each of us to defeat at least 200 people in yesterday's battle. I only got half that far. I failed to do what I was told, and so I got punished. But it's fine. I deserved it."_

_"You do NOT deserve that. Listen to me," I got down on the ground like she was and looked into her eyes. "You DON'T deserve that. You deserve to be forgiven, respected, and loved."_

_"Yeah, that would be nice, if only that_ existed _. I don't live in your guys' fantasy wonderland, okay? This is_ real life _."_

_"If you come with me to the Moon Kingdom, you can experience it and know the Queen and learn all about her love and kindness. You'll be swept away by grace."_

_"I'm NOT going with you!"_

_"I won't force you. But if you do choose come with me, you can always leave and come back here if you want to. We value freedom there. You have my word."_

_I held out my hand to her, for probably about five minutes straight, neither of us saying another word. And at long last, she placed her hand in mine and accepted._

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Footsteps woke me up in the middle of the night.

Whenever I wake up, it's really hard for me fall back asleep unless I get up and walk around for a little bit. I could still hear someone walking faintly, so I followed the noise.

It led me outside into the flower fields. It was dark out but the bright colors of the flowers always seemed to keep the place lit. I saw the person walking far out in the distance, so I ran to catch up.

She turned around, pale in the face.

"Mars? What are you doing out here?"

"Oh? Nothing!" she forced a smile.

"Were you going to Earth?"

"Well, I-"

"And what are you holding behind your back?"

"It's just a letter. For Jadeite. I was just going to deliver it to him."

"At 3 in the morning?"

"Yeah, well. Now or never, right? He'll probably be too busy during the day to meet with me. But don't worry, it's nothing important."

Her overly-perky tone of voice was an obvious indicator that something was going on. I unfolded my arms and held out my held, giving her my serious glare. "Hand it over."

"What?! Jupiter, it's personal!"

"I can recognize your lying face. Give me the letter. If it's nothing important, like you said, then it shouldn't be a big deal."

"What if I don't?"

"That's your prerogative. But I can tell you're not okay, and as your sister, I want to know why and how I can help."

She sighed softly, tears starting to form. "Okay. Here…"

_Dear Jadeite,_

_I just wanted to let you know that after tomorrow, you might not find me on the moon or at our base on Earth. If you don't, then don't bother looking for me. I'll be with the Dark Kingdom._

_This is not in any way because of anything you've done. I want you to know that I loved it when you prayed for my healing, and I'll never forget that. But living out this mission is just too hard. It's too much. I'm not the kindest person and never will be, and I feel unworthy of being part of the Moon Kingdom. I think I'll fit in better on the other side. Please don't try to come after me._

_I never thought I'd say this to a man, but I do love you. I always will. And I'll never forget._

_-Mars_

My hands were shaking as I came to the end of the letter. I couldn't believe it. Mars, my dear sister and ally, wanted to leave us.

"Mars… where is this coming from?"

"I just think it'll be easier on me and everyone else if I left."

"Don't you remember Christopher's story? And mine? They'll destroy you over there!"

"But I won't be a burden on the people here."

"A burden?! You are not, and have NEVER been a burden. What makes you say that?"

"I… I don't know. I just feel it, you know?"

I walked closer to her and put both hands on her shoulders. "Look. I know that we've had to spend a lot of time on Earth, and it's really easy to let the enemies and the demons influence us. They whisper lies into our ears all the time and we usually don't even notice, and a lot of times we think that those lies are our own thoughts. But that's why it's important to put on the Spirit's armor daily. Tell me, when was the last time you went and spent time with the Queen?"

"…Five months or so?"

"Hun, that's not good. That's why you're drifting away from everything. Do you remember when she told us that we can ALWAYS go spend time with her? She meant it."

"I know. But often times I feel unworthy, and other times, she just… feels so distant."

"When she feels distant, that doesn't mean that she moved away. It means that _we_ did."

She moved away from my arms and turned around to gaze at the Earth for a moment before turning back to face me again.

"…Can you just tell me one thing?"

"Anything."

"What exactly led to your official decision to leave the Dark Kingdom and come here, after your encounter with Queen Serenity? I mean, I know it wasn't immediate for you. So what made you finally decide to leave them?"

"The day after my capture and release from Queen Serenity, I went to our morning meeting where Beryl was speaking as usual. She was a beautiful woman who always seemed to encourage us in our mission with eloquence and passion, but on this particular day, I began to see holes in her speech. Evil fell from her pretty mouth, wrapped in her classic voice. She was angelic in her syntax, but demonic in her motive. In the middle of her speech, she nodded to a man in the back and I turned to see him lean down and walk quickly from the room. Just then, an explosion went off and 50 people were killed instantly. Beryl yelled, 'Did you hear that?! Go help your brothers! The Moon Kingdom is full of murderers! We must defeat them and avenge our brothers!' As everyone turned to assist the wounded, I looked back at her, and saw her begin to smile. As she scanned the room with pleasure, her eyes fell on me and her smile vanished. Her face filled with hatred and my heart raged against her. I made my way to the stage and began to yell so the soldiers could hear what Beryl had done. Everyone was silent as we argued and I picked apart her lies. I told them about my meeting with Queen Serenity and how much love she'd shown me. Hundreds of them began to cry. Beryl ordered me to be executed on the spot, but the guards were all weeping. I asked if anyone wanted to join the Moon Kingdom with me and thousands of open hands went up. She was outnumbered and slipped away before we could seize her. From there she moved to other parts of the world to recruit new people, but I had already left by then."

Tears were falling down Mars' face as she ran up to embrace me (which was something she rarely did).

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she sobbed.

I hugged her tight. "It's okay. We love you. No matter what."


	10. Tiny Heart

**Mars**

I knocked on Queen Serenity's door, slowly turning the knob and poking my head in.

"…Your Majesty?"

She quickly spun around, and with joy she ran over to me and hugged me.

"Oh, my precious girl, how I've missed you! I'm so happy to see you."

"I'm happy to be here," my eyes started welling up. "I'm so sorry for being so absent."

"You're here now. I forgive you."

She sat down on her throne and I fell to my knees. "Surely you know what happened with me and what I almost did, and how Jupiter stopped me and helped me think straight again. Now when I look back on it, I simply can't believe or fathom the fact that I was actually going to do that. I now realize the power of influence that the enemy can have on us. My first mentor once told me that no one should ever underestimate their ability to fall. I thought I understood that before, but now that it's actually happened to me… oh, please forgive me…"

"My dear Mars, you are completely forgiven and made new. If you'll let me, I will work in you and help you overcome these negative things that you have been facing. You are worth more than the finest gold to me, and I hope you know that no matter what, my love won't stop."

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The Moon Kingdom was usually pretty peaceful and quiet, or at least it used to be before we had all this military training going on constantly. But regardless of the circumstances, a lot of times when we really slowed down and allowed ourselves to listen, we could hear the Queen singing love songs over us. I heard her for the first time in forever today, crying out for her lost loves ones.

_"Tiny heart . . . if you choose me, I'm waiting for you…"_

I found Jupiter and Nephrite out on the front porch when I came back to the palace after my stroll.

"Hey girl," Jupiter gave a friendly smile. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing much better, thank you. Nephrite, do you think you could give us a minute?"

"Sure," he stood up to leave us to our privacy, taking the rest of his sandwich with him.

"I'll come find you in a bit," Jupiter called out to him.

I took a seat. "I don't think I could thank you enough for the other night…"

"No thanks needed. I love you as my family and I'm here for you."

"I only hope to one day become that person for you too."

"You look a lot better today," she smiled. "I'm glad."

"I _feel_ a lot better," I smiled as I turned my head towards the direction of Queen Serenity's song. "I'm made new."

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**The Soldier**

After more than a year of writing letters to my daughter and getting no response, I tried one last time.

_Favorite One,  
I love you so much. I miss you desperately. I know you are searching for truth, and your honesty in the last letter you wrote was beautiful. You are growing up and you need to learn for yourself what you believe and why. This is a good thing even though it can be confusing at times. Don't stop questioning, my love, and hear me when I tell you how I see it. I believe you feel like something is missing inside because you were created to commune with our Queen, the leader of the Moon Kingdom. She will show you what it means to truly be loved and will teach you how to love others. You aren't listening or searching for her and you will feel empty until you do. The Queen is known for singing over her children and if you listen to her tonight, you will hear her say:_

_"Tiny heart, stuck inside yourself, when will you open up for me? I love you so, and I want to meet you again, before one of us must go. Your lips touched every hand but mine. When will you get back to me? Tiny heart, you're not by yourself. When will you recognize the beat of my own heart, grieving in your hand? You crush me when you run that way. You will never know what you have done to me, and you will never know losing love from me, and you will never know a single day alone. If you choose me, I'm waiting for you...Always waiting."_


	11. Treasure

 

**Venus**

Almost two years have passed since this war began. We have lost many of our people in different ways, and it's broken our hearts. But we have also received many into our Kingdom, and that has always been reason to rejoice.

I'm going to visit Kunzite later. For the last few months, we've rarely seen each other due to our out-of-control schedules and the increasing brutality of war. We've all been on the battlefield almost daily, using all the power we could to defend. It has become so exhausting by now and the Dark Kingdom simply won't relent. But all of the people who come to know the Queen make it all worth it.

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The sound of swords clashing could be heard in the distance. After teleporting I ran past all of the madness and towards the palace, through Endymion's gardens and to the tree swing that we agreed to meet at.

I sat down on it and slowly swung myself back and forth for a while, looking over at the pond and appreciating how it's retained its calm beauty through all of this. I started to get nostalgic for the more peaceful times we once knew.

"Good to see you."

I turned my head back around and found my tall, silver-haired general standing there. I stood up and hugged him.

"You too. It's been too long."

"How have you been holding up lately?"

"I've been… well. A weird combination of joyful and sorrowful. It really depends on the day and what happens. I know I should always be rejoicing over the people who have come to know love, but I can't help but mourn the ones we've lost at the same time."

"I understand."

"What about you?"

He backed away and looked out at the pond. "The truth?"

"Of course."

"Lately I've been really apathetic."

I walked over into his line of vision again. "Apathetic how?"

He was silent for a moment. "Towards the mission. Spending time with the Queen. Keeping myself disciplined."

"Why? What's going on?"

Even though I was standing in front of him, his higher height made it hard to look directly into his eyes as he kept gazing at the water as he spoke.

"I've spent my whole life training for combat and preparing to be a warrior. It's how I was raised and it became a passion. I never thought I'd be one to burn out from it…"

I stepped closer and put a hand on his arm.

"This war has really gotten to me, more than I realized," he continued. "I've been neglecting my walk in faith and haven't been able to bring anyone to our Kingdom in far too long. I've turned to alcohol instead of our Queen."

"Kunzite…"

He looked back at me and forced a smile. "Don't worry. I'll be fine; it's just a season of drifting for me."

"I hope so. I would be careful not to get too comfortable in this season or let it become more than that. Don't fall like I did…"

"I know. I won't."

"Let me know of you need anything."

"I will."

The sounds of battle got louder even from where we were.

"I won't keep you," he said. "Good luck out there."

"But…" I almost reached out my hand after he had already started walking away. "I haven't seen you in so long. Can't we stay here a little longer?"

"I wish we could, but we have work to do. We'll have to do this another time."

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**The Soldier**

When my daughter received my letter last year a while back, she decided to look to the Queen to learn about love like I encouraged her to. She fell deeply in love with what she found, and the change in her was amazing. When I asked her about any romance in her life, she said that she had asked the Queen to pick her husband. She explained that she was going to stay asleep in regard to her romance until the Queen of Love itself decided to wake her. A year later, she revealed that Queen Serenity came to her to say that it was almost time to arise for a new morning. Sure enough, she woke her up and introduced her to a valiant young solider.

And now, a year later, she wrote me saying that this man had asked her to be his bride. When she said yes, he kissed her for the first time. She said, "That night I felt like I had become something... treasured... different." She had never felt anything more passionate in all her life than the deep slow burn of waiting on him to lead her. Their wedding will be in a month, here on the moon.

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**Venus**

Dressed up formally, I sat next to my sisters outside the moon palace that night as we listened to harps play and waited for the bride to walk down the aisle. I didn't know her, but I knew about her father, and how he had been a faithful servant of our Queen and a passionate ambassador for our mission. This girl had fallen away for a while but was now with us again.

"Here she comes," Jupiter whispered as we all stood up and watched the beautiful bride walk by.

"She's so pretty," Mars said.

"Who knows," Mercury turned to us and winked. "Maybe one of us will be next?"

I felt uneasy by that comment, but didn't understand why. I guess it's just the thought that it's unlikely this war will end soon, and thinking about marriage at all seems so far off.

"I wish Zoisite was here…" Mercury whispered as the ceremony began. "I just don't think he'll be able to get away today."

"I wouldn't be too sure," Jupiter nudged her and pointed behind us. "Look back there."

Zoisite and Jadeite stood in the back scanning the audience, looking for their lovers. I had never seen them so dressed up. When they spotted us we moved over to make room for them.

_I wish Kunzite could be here too._

"You may now kiss your bride."

The audience cheered and fireworks went off. It was a glorious sight.

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The reception took place out there as well, with beautifully adorned tables and flowers all around. There were several tables off to the side with food that Jupiter prepared in a buffet style.

Mars and Mercury were off with their men, so I spent most of the night with Jupiter.

"So where's Nephrite tonight?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's as busy as Kunzite is," she smiled. "I invited him, but reassured him that it's totally okay if he can't make it. As much as I miss him and would love to see him, protecting Endymion's palace is a priority."

"That's very mature of you."

"Hello!" came Princess Serenity's cheerful voice.

"Good Evening, Princess," I stood and bowed. "Prince, I didn't expect to see you here?"

"I didn't expect to make it," he began. "But my men assured me that they could hold down the fort for one night. It's been so long since I've had even a night off."

"I definitely get that," I breathed out heavily. "I just wish that a day off could also be a break from stress and worrying. I'd love to be present in the moment but it's hard not to think about what's happening on Earth right now, and what we'll have to return to tomorrow."

"You shouldn't worry so much," Serenity said, taking a seat at our table. "Every day is a gift and a miracle. We should be happy!"

"She's got a point," Jupiter said as she took a bite of her famous red velvet cake. "I think we could all benefit from learning to be optimistic like our princess here."

"Perhaps I should have her teach my Shitennou as well," Endymion joked. "Especially Kunzite. Lord knows he could use some positivity in his life with all that he's been going through."

I felt my heart sink again. "If you'll all excuse me," I stood up and picked up my plate. "I'm going to get dessert."

I went over to the food table and set my plate down, and just stared out into the sky, at the view of Earth.

_Oh, to have victory and live peacefully again. That is my prayer._

"Enjoying the view?"

I recognized that deep voice before having to turn around. I regathered myself and rotated to face him.

"You made it…"

"I couldn't miss this chance to see you," Kunzite held out his hand. "I don't want to have to go months at a time without seeing you, Venus. I love you."

My eyes grew wider as a blush slowly grew on my face. It was the first time he said that. I stared into his eyes as I placed my hand in his. "I love you too…"

Fireworks went off again the moment he leaned in to kiss me. It was a glorious night indeed.


	12. Circle

**The Soldier**

A memorial is being held at the Moon Kingdom today.

Our most loyal captain, Christopher, who we had put in charge of a thousand men, was replaced today. He will be greatly missed. He was the strongest, most loving, selfless and courageous man any of us had ever known and his wife was a wonderful woman. The captain loved her desperately. She was his life, but she had come from a very dark past, and had been hurt so much that she was never able to fully trust him.

One day Christopher left to go on a mission. Katherine was so sure that he was meeting another woman that she followed him. He settled into his hiding spot, and after a moment of silence, she appeared before him with tears streaming down her face.

"I know you are meeting another woman!" She screamed, "Where is she?! I hate you! You lie to me all the time! I hope you die out here! I know you have had an affair, so guess what? I have had an affair too! I never want to see you again!"

He was horrified and tried to quiet her, but it was too late. She began to flee and was nearly out of the captain's sight when a Dark Kingdom soldier appeared and seized her. The solider threw her to the ground and as she lay there with a sword pointed at her, she realized that her husband wasn't meeting anyone. Remorse overwhelmed her just as she heard rapidly approaching footsteps and then her husband's voice shout, "Let her go! Take me, but let her go!"

The soldier looked at our captain, scanned his uniform, and fear flashed across his face. He recognized him and put the sword closer to the woman, shouting, "Traitor! Don't come any closer!"

Christopher stopped and spoke softly. "Please, take me, but let her go. My life in exchange for hers. Please."

The solider asked in disbelief, "But you are a captain! Why would you die for this woman?"

The man looked at his wife and said with tears flowing down his face, "Because I love her more than my own life."

The Dark Kingdom solider threw back his head and laughed. "Woman, get out of here!" he commanded.

When she walked far enough away for the soldier to be satisfied, she turned and saw her husband killed in her place. For the first time in her life, she knew how much he loved her. Her cold heart was melted and she wept for 7 days without eating. She got up and went before the Moon Kingdom and told them all that had happened, asking to be punished with justice. Sailor Venus and Princess Serenity went and stood beside her to address the troops.

"Our captain loved us," Venus spoke. "He lived for this mission, but he would do anything this woman asked. He loved her enough to die for her, so he must have believed in her ability to do greater things than he himself did while he was here with us. She has already proven that she is just by her request to bring justice on herself. I say that we make her our new captain!"

The crowd was in unison. "Long live our new captain!"

She is proving to be our best captain yet.

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**Mercury**

Thanks to Zoisite's help, I have been leading my own troops into battle for over a year now. It is a great feeling to have learned and grown so much, but sometimes I miss my old lifestyle. Not just the peaceful aspect, but just being able to spend my days reading and exercising my mind.

I don't see Zoisite much these days. We're both so busy with our own armies. Every day I think about my favorite memory with him – when we finally got to have our library date and read _The Sacred Romance_ together.

That was when he told me he loved me for the first time.

I was writing in my journal at sunrise when heard my sisters talking downstairs, so I closed it and headed down. It was unusual for them to be awake this early, especially on a day off from training.

I came into the lounge and saw Mars and Jupiter already leaving. Venus looked at me with sad eyes.

"Good morning, Venus. What are you all doing up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep. I was trying to make food but I dropped a pan and the noise woke those two up. I really don't belong in the kitchen," she forced a laugh. "That's definitely Jupiter's department."

"I see. I must have been so focused on my writing that I didn't even hear it."

"Ha. I love you, Mercury," she came over and hugged me. "Don't ever change."

"I love you too. Is… something wrong?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You look sad. And it seems to be more than the usual warfare stress."

She sighed and sat back down. "I just really miss Kunzite. I never see him or get to talk to him anymore, and he just confuses me. One day he seems fine and like his usual self, and the next day he's really standoffish and doesn't seem to want me around."

"I'm sure he's just stressed over the war too. You can't expect him to be happy and peachy all the time."

"I know that. We're in the same position so I completely understand. It just seems like maybe there's more going on."

"Well…"

She looked up at me. "Well, what?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm sorry."

"No, tell me."

"Well it's just that… when I was patrolling the palace the other day, I heard the gardeners and a couple soldiers talking about some of the Earth soldiers and commanders, and couple of them were saying that the Shitennou wanted to join the Dark Kingdom."

She shot out of her chair so fast. "WHAT?!"

"Don't worry," I desperately tried to calm her down. "I'm sure it's nothing more than silly gossip. Those people aren't exactly the most trustworthy when it comes to information like that, and I know those soldiers weren't true followers of the mission. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

She slowly started breathing normally again, but the shock didn't leave her face. "But, what if it's true? Aren't you worried about Zoisite?"

"I try not to waste my energy worrying about things whenever I can help it. If you're so concerned, why don't you go see Kunzite? I'm sure you could find him on the training grounds today."

"What am I supposed to say, though? 'Hey, I heard you were joining the Dark Kingdom. Is that true?' What if it _is_ true?"

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "I don't have an answer for you. But if you pray about it, I'm sure you will receive guidance."

I turned and headed for the door. "I need to get to training myself. I know it's technically a day off, but I feel up to it. So if you really need help, you know where to find me. But don't worry. Everything will work out for good. The Queen is on our side."

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**Venus**

I knew I should've went and talked to the Queen first. But I couldn't help myself. After talking to Mercury, I ran to the teleport chamber and went to Earth.

Out of breath, I ran all over Endymion's territory trying to find Kunzite. I checked every place I could think of, but he was nowhere to be found. I did see Jadeite in the distance. I was about to go ask him for help, but as soon as he saw me, he looked almost afraid and quickly turned and walked away, acting like he didn't see me.

_Is it true for him then?_

After about two hours, I finally ran into a familiar face, and thankfully he didn't turn and run from me.

"Prince Endymion, sorry to bother you, but…" I had to stop and catch my breath for a moment.

"Miss Venus, are you all right? Do you need some water?"

"No, thank you. I've been looking all over for Kunzite. Do you know where he is?"

"I can't say I do. To tell you the truth, I haven't seen much of my Shitennou lately. It's just been so crazy."

"I understand. Sadly I haven't been very connected with my princess either. Well, thank you anyway. I guess I'll just keep looking."

"You seem to be on an urgent mission to find him. Is there something wr- wait. I think I might know where he is. Have you checked the worship sanctuary on the third floor?"

"I haven't. Thank you!"

I scurried off. I don't know why I didn't think to check there. But if he was there, in communion with God, then that means he couldn't have joined the Dark Kingdom, right?

I threw the doors open in hopeful anticipation.

Not a single soul in there.

I fell to my knees. _What am I even doing here?_

If he's nowhere to be found on Endymion's territory, then… unless he's on some trip to another part of the world, then that means the only place left to look would be… the enemy's territory.

_No. No way. He can't be…_

After a while of sitting there on the ground, unable to pull myself up, I felt someone behind me. But I knew it wasn't him.

Mercury gently placed her hand on my shoulder and spoke kindly. "Come on. Let's go home."

"I can't…"

"Let's go have some dinner Jupiter prepared, and spend some time with our Queen. Okay?"

"But I…" I exhaled and gave in, trying not to get teary-eyed. "Okay."

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On our way out, I saw the other Shitennou in the distance, hard at work with their troops on the training ground. All but one.

Mercury noticed me looking. "I think Jupiter's gourmet shepherd's pie will take your mind off it," she spoke with a kind smile, taking my hand.

"You're right," I said, slowly turning my head away from the crowd. "I just hope that-"

My heart jumped as I finally saw the silver-haired man coming our way on his horse.

She let go of my hand. "I'll give you a moment."

"Thanks…"

I headed his way so that we were far enough away to talk privately. It started off as slowly walking but soon enough I found myself sprinting.

"Kunzite! I've been looking all over for you. I was so worried…"

He parked the horse and jumped off. He looked fine but I was getting eerie vibes.

"Sorry to make you run around. I just wasn't expecting you today."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just that…" I paused.

"What is it?"

A million things were running through my head and I couldn't speak.

"Venus," he said more sternly, "what is it?"

"Okay. I'll just come right out and say it. A rumor has been going around on the moon that… that you and the other Shitennou joined the Dark Kingdom? Or that you're thinking about it?"

He was silent. For a long moment. It made me crazy.

"Kunzite! Please tell me that's not true! Tell me they're crazy for making up such lies!"

He wouldn't look me in the eye. "I can't."

My heart sank into a chasm. "…What are you saying?"

"You wouldn't understand."

He began to walk away towards the horse. I felt rage building up inside me.

"Get back here! You can't just walk away without telling me what happened! What about all those things you've said to me over the years? About faith? About the mission? You go to the river in Endymion's garden because it reminds you of the Queen's living water. You always encouraged me when I was feeling beaten down. You wouldn't let me give up on the mission. And now, what, you're just walking away from all that?"

"Go home, Venus. Please. I'll tell you someday, but not now. Not until this war is over."

Still not taking no for an answer, I ran up and reached out to grab his arm, but he quickly turned around and caught mine first and held it tightly.

"Let go of me!" I screamed.

"Stay out of this. I mean it. If you want to live, stay away from me, my men and the Dark Kingdom."

He threw my arm back down with full force, and then rode off to where he came from.

I couldn't move. I just stood there lifeless.

"Venus?" the other Senshi all came running over to me.

"Venus, come on, we need to go," Jupiter said with urgency, gently shaking me. It was no use.

"Come on, Venus. Please. We need Queen Serenity," Mars looked into my eyes with more tenderness than I'd ever seen from her.

I slowly snapped out of it, looking around at those three. They looked so sad. I figured the same thing had just happened to them.

Jupiter took my hand. "Let's talk at home. Okay? If we stay here with them, it'll just be a vicious circle of emotions and denial, and we won't get anywhere."


	13. Arise

**Venus**

"So it's true, Your Highness. Kunzite has joined the Dark Kingdom. I just can't believe it. I don't know what to do…"

Tears started coming down but I didn't try to stop them. I felt safe being vulnerable.

"I love your honest heart," Queen Serenity spoke. "You must believe me, I know exactly what you're going through, and my heart has broken for Kunzite too."

"What should we do? Isn't there anything in your power that can be done?"

"I cannot interfere with his free will. He has to _want_ to return." She stood up and came over to the seat next to me and gently took my hands. "I can do my best to try and draw him back, but it needs to be his choice to listen. My dear, what _you_ can do is continually pray for him and advance the mission of bringing love and Truth to him every chance you get. But _don't idolize this man_. Our Father above has a plan for Kunzite, and I will advocate for him every moment of every day."

The love in her eyes comforted me beyond comprehension. "Thank You, my Queen. I'll do it."

_Oh, my God, please rescue him. Lead him back to Your Kingdom in a way only You know how. And I pray for clarity. Why did he do it?_

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**Mercury**

Venus was right all along. I feel terrible for shooting down her concerns before.

While she was talking to Kunzite during our last visit to Earth, I spoke briefly with Zoisite on the training ground. He confirmed everything.

_"Zoisite? I don't mean to interrupt..."_

_"You already have."_

_"I'm sorry. I was just wondering if we could get together sometime this week?"_

_"I can't do that."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Look, I'm extremely busy and I don't have all day to chat. I'm not part of your Kingdom anymore. So just go home and read a book or something, and please don't test my patience."_

I shouldn't have allowed my mentor to become my lover. But how was I to know this would happen? None of us saw it coming. Day and night I try to analyze the situation and figure out why they would turn on us, but I've come up with nothing. It just doesn't make any sense at all.

_Lord, I can't do this on my own. Please show me why…_

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**Mars**

You know something? Ever since I was young, I've been taught by experience to always be cautious of men. I've been taught that men are rage machines and that most of them only want one thing. That's what my mother used to tell me when I still lived on my home planet. And though I never really respected what she had to say most of the time, seeing her life and the lives of the people around me, and the way men treated them, it made me hold onto her words for years.

And then Jadeite proved me wrong about men. The most godly, respectful man I ever knew. At least, he used to be.

The last time I was on Earth, we got into a screaming match and he told me he no longer believed in the mission or followed Queen Serenity. It got so heated that he looked like he wanted to physically fight me, which was always a huge fear of mine when it came to men, but I walked away before that could happen and went with the others to get Venus and leave.

Normally I'd end up resenting him and would lose my trust in men all over again, and would probably never be convinced to love a man ever again. But the Queen has taught me a lot over the last several months through my walk with her and pursuing love and advancing this Kingdom. I've learned to become more patient and merciful. At the end of the day, I don't hate Jadeite. If anything, I feel sorry for him. He's someone else now, and I can only imagine how Queen Beryl treats him over there.

_I pray for his salvation. Rescue the man he once was and bring him back. And give me a vision of what happened to him and why he was allured into the Dark Kingdom._

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**Jupiter**

Remembering my days in the Dark Kingdom fills me with such sorrow when I think of Nephrite and the decision he made to join them. It gives me a huge sense of urgency to carry out the mission towards him, but I know I won't be able to find him at Endymion's palace anymore. The only way would be to invade the enemy's territory, and doing that alone would be suicide, with all of the warriors they have. Taking an army with me nowadays would basically be initiating an attack on them, and that's not what we're about in the Moon Kingdom. All I can do right now is pray and trust in our Lord, pray for opportunities with him, and keep sharing my story and trying to reach other people where I can.

I kept begging him for a reason when we were on Earth last time. I begged him to tell me why he did it. He wouldn't give me an answer. My heart breaks, not only because of the pain and brutality that exists in the Dark Kingdom, but also because he no longer knows the Queen's love and can't experience it anymore unless he lets her in again.

_Lord, open up his heart again. And if it's Your will for me to know, please give me the answer to my question. Why did he leave?_

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**Revelation**

The four Senshi drifted off into dreamland that night.

_A multitude of Dark Kingdom soldiers lay lifeless on the ground._

_Their own bomb that they had set off backfired while the Moon Kingdom army shielded themselves._

_Kunzite saw one man who still had some life left in him, though it was slipping away. He was cursing Kunzite even despite his struggling to speak._

_He knew he should have tried to speak Truth to this man and try to win him over to grace. He knew he was being called to be missional in that moment. But he refused the call._

_What was the use? This man would need tons of time and ministering to in order to change his mind. He only had minutes left. There were other things to attend to._

_These were his thoughts._

_Suddenly, the Dark Kingdom's troops all parted to the sides to make way for someone._

_Queen Beryl._

_A hideous woman, levitating slightly above the ground as she approached him._

_"Your apathy has done wonders for my kingdom lately, Kunzite."_

_He held his sword out at her. "Why are you approaching me, witch? I ought to end you right now and end this outrageous war!"_

_She extended her arm and pushed her hand out, sending a strong force of energy that sent him and other soldiers behind him flying back. Some of those soldiers were already wounded, and a couple of them died from the impact._

_"Merciless fiend!" Kunzite screamed out. "I'm going to kill you right here and now, on my own!"_

_"Perfect," she stared him down with a sinister smile. "Feed your anger and give me the foothold that I want. Let the hatred build in you. Attack me! Kill me! I dare you!"_

_He found his sword and held it out again, really struggling to restrain himself from charging at her._

_"Tell me," she continued, "when was the last time you spent any time with that Queen of yours?"_

_"A while ago. But what's it to you?"_

_"And now you're apathetic towards your futile mission that you've all dedicated your lives to. So why are you still fighting us?"_

_"You have no right claiming to know me and my beliefs. You and your army are pure evil, and you've killed and stolen countless people from us. That's why I'm going to end you."_

_"Then why haven't you done it already?"_

_He stood there in silence. He knew she was too powerful for him. His rage distracted him from the fact that he could call on the name of the Lord. He thought he had to do this alone._

_"Why don't you join us, Kunzite? You would fit so much better over here. I would make you my lead captain. You'll have the same status as your prince, if not higher!"_

_"And why don't_ you _abandon your ridiculous ideas and fight me?!"_

_"I won't fight you now. Take a look at those soldiers behind you. The ones who just died."_

_Still holding out his sword, he turned his head back and internally grieved the loss of more of his men._

_"You know who I'm going to do that to next?" She stepped a little closer. "I think I'll go after a certain blonde guardian. That nuisance who's always protected that wretched princess who I despise with all my being. With her gone, I'll have an easier target. What was her name… Venus?" she smiled evilly at him. "Your lover, from what I understand?"_

_Kunzite charged at her full-force, only to be flung back by an invisible forcefield of dark energy._

_"You… will not… touch her," he managed, standing back up._

_"That's not up to you, sir. I can do whatever I want. I ALWAYS get what I want. Soon I will have this whole world in my hands, and Prince Endymion too!"_

_She walked closer until she was right in his face. "I'll tell you what, though. If you join my kingdom today, I won't hurt Venus. You have my word."_

_His heart shook. He couldn't fathom the thought of Venus being killed, especially at the brutal hands of this witch._

_"Kunzite, your decision has the power to save the one you love. What will it be?"_

_"Why should I believe you? You're famous for lying."_

_"Maybe I_ am _lying. But with what I'm promising you for joining us, you'll at least know that your Venus has a chance for survival. If you refuse, I will DEFINITELY kill her, and you can count on that. There would be no reason for me to hold back. So, I'll ask again: what's it going to be?"_

 _He could just fib and say he would join, and it would just be temporary. Right? He could just_ pretend _to be with them, until the madness ended. Right?_

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_It wasn't just temporary. After accepting her offer, darkness consumed him, slowly but increasingly, day by day. Beryl made the same negotiations with the other four men that same day. They chose their loved ones over their Queen. And by leaving her grace, darkness took over their hearts and they were no longer the men that the Senshi loved._

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**Venus**

I woke up so suddenly. Heart racing. Tears forming.

I put on my slippers and went downstairs. It was 4 in the morning but I didn't care.

On the way down the steps, I quickly caught myself and stopped. I looked up, closed my eyes, and whispered, "Thank You for answering me. Thank You for giving me the answer to my question."

To my surprise, the other four girls were already down there, tears in all of their eyes as well. _Did they have the same dream, but from the perspective their lovers?_

"You too?" Jupiter walked over and handed me a cup of tea.

"Yeah. Me too."

I sat down at the table with them. We were silent for several moments.

Tapping her fingers on her cup, Mercury finally spoke up. "They only wanted to protect us. The Dark Kingdom drew them in with such force that they felt like they couldn't escape."

"It was their decision," Mars said monotonously. "And they've continued to make that decision every day since then."

"I would know the dangers of flirting with temptation," I said. "Things escalate so fast, and before you know it, you're on a completely different road; one that you never anticipated. The only way to get off that dark path… is to completely turn around and come back."

"Do you think there's hope for the Shitennou?" Mercury asked.

"There's ALWAYS hope," Jupiter stated firmly.

"But there's more to all of this," Mars said, in the same tone of voice as before. "After seeing how Jadeite turned, I dreamed another vison. The Dark Kingdom is going to invade the moon. Sometime soon. There's no stopping it."

Shockingly, despite the intense panic that was raging inside each of us, we all remained outwardly calm.

"Did you tell the Queen?" I asked.

"Yes. She already knows."

Silence lingered.

Queen Serenity's words kept playing in my head on repeat.

_Don't idolize this man._

Sound finally broke out with the wooden chair sliding against the floor as Jupiter stood up. "Well, this means we need to prepare. We need to be ready. It's not about us, or the Shitennou. It's about our Lord and our Queen. Let's get training."

We all nodded in unison.

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**The Soldier**

Word had gotten around all over the moon about the upcoming invasion. We had all stopped traveling to Earth and focused our efforts on training here. Prince Endymion was here as well, as he was forced to flee from his palace, along with a few hundred of his soldiers. They were the only people left from that planet who still belonged to the Moon Kingdom and believed in the mission. The Dark Kingdom had corrupted everyone else and it was too dangerous to stay.

Soon enough, we all felt the day approaching. Queen Serenity called everyone to the front of the castle and stood on a tall stage, addressing us all with one final speech.

"My beloved ones: this will be the last time I will be able to address you all in this way before we enter the fiercest battle this conflict has seen."

Tears started streaming down peoples' faces, and many were humbly raising hands up to her.

"Dearest children, my favorite ones,

You are mature now and you can handle hearing about the things I'm going to tell you, so brace yourselves and be strong. Many in the Moon Kingdom have been injured, killed or captured, but none of us have surrendered to the Dark Kingdom! I know that we have already won as it has been prophesied, so don't lose heart! I know that everything good around you seems to be lost, but please stand firm! You have all committed to giving your lives to bring peace, faith, hope, freedom and above all love to the world because we believe in love, above all things! Don't give up on our world! It has enough hope in it to die for! If I do die here, it is so others will live. _Yes, if I die, it will be so others can live._ This is my will. Remember, a seed can't become a seed bearing, life-giving tree unless it first dies and is planted in the ground. Always know that whether I live or die, you have been called to fulfill your purpose and further our mission! I've watched you grow together as a family and you are more selfless now than you have ever been. Because of this, your hearts are now right for reflecting glory. Memento Mori, favorite ones, because your time in this world is brief.

Arise and be all that you dream. Encourage each other and remember to sing over each other, over your family, and over yourself, 'Arise and be all that you dream!'

Love eternally,

Queen Serenity"

The people cried out.

"My Queen! You can't die! This can't happen!"

But we heard her words. This would be her will. We didn't know what exactly it meant, but we trusted her.

_That night, the invaders arrived. We stood in front of the palace, the Senshi standing hand in hand, as we all braced ourselves to enter the battle of our lives._

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The night was long.

Smoke and moon dust had turned the sky into various shades of red and gray.

Towards the end of the fight, Queen Beryl set off a powerful bomb and the massive explosion annihilated most people on both sides. Only a few survived. I was one of them.

Looking over the battlefield, I could see the Senshi lying lifeless by their equally lifeless Shitennou. Venus lay on top of Kunzite, swords driven into each of them. Mercury was face-down, with Zoisite not too far off, who appeared to have had frostbite. Mars and Jadeite looked burned all over. Jupiter and Nephrite seemed fried, as if they were both zapped by lightning.

Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion were at the center, their lives taken while trying to protect each other during the explosion.

Beryl was floating in the air, laughing madly.

With the limited strength I had left, I pulled out this journal that I always kept with me and wrote these final things down. I looked up at the tallest tower of the moon palace. Queen Serenity stood at the top, raising her crescent wand up to the sky. Even though she was far away, I could hear her words clearly.

"This is where I die. I will die so that you will live. All of you will live. I will give you hope and a future. You will arise again."

She looked up to the sky and began unleashing power. "Father above, into Your hands, I commit my spirit."

Supernatural peace came over me, as everything around me turned into a flash of light.

_You will arise again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.
> 
> Just want to reiterate that I used many quotes from Flyleaf's "Letters from the Commander" (and slightly altered some), as well as some song lyrics, and I don't claim those as my own writing.
> 
> A lot of inspiration also came from Lacey Sturm's song "Run To You."
> 
> I know that I didn't include Endymion and Serenity much, but I wanted to focus on the others. Also I've never written stories from the perspectives of Mercury or Jupiter before, so I struggled with capturing their characters.
> 
> It did feel weird to use Queen Serenity as a representation of Jesus, since usually the pronouns of He/Him/His/King are used when referring to Him, but in the context of Sailor Moon I felt that she would be the best character to be symbolic of Him. I know my symbolism wasn't perfect or fully representative, and I'm probably guilty of several mistakes, but the point is that Jesus LOVES you always, no matter what. (:
> 
> (Please don't leave comments complaining about my faith-based writing, unless it's genuinely meant to help me improve for future stories. This is why I give the heads up at the beginning about the spirituality.)
> 
> Anyways, I know this story is a lot different from my other Sailor Moon ones (though some past ones were partly inspired by the same things, like my story Remember to Live). But I just love the Letters from the Commander and really wanted to write a story based on my favorite album :P. It proved to be much harder than expected lol. I always welcome feedback as long as it's constructive and will help me improve. Let me know if you have any requests/ideas/etc for future stories. Not sure when I'll get working on a new one since life is insane right now, but I do at least take all things into consideration. (:


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